Ending a marriage is never easy. That said, divorcing a controlling person presents unique challenges that make the ordeal particularly thorny.
Understanding key aspects of the divorce process can empower individuals seeking to break free from a controlling relationship.
Establishing independence
One of the initial steps in divorcing an oppressive spouse is to build an independent life. This may involve opening a solo bank account, taking out an unlisted phone number or moving to a separate location. Proactive measures such as these lay the foundation for a smoother transition.
Gathering evidence
Documenting instances of control and manipulation is necessary for building a case during divorce proceedings. Keeping a record of controlling behaviors, including messages, emails or any other form of communication that highlights the overbearing nature of the partner, can be valuable when presenting before legal professionals or mediators.
Understanding emotional manipulation
Controlling individuals often play mind games to maintain dominance over someone. Learn to recognize the most common tactics, such as guilt-tripping and gaslighting. Familiarity with how these deceptive practices work empowers one to ignore them and focus on the ultimate goal of getting a divorce.
Planning for the future
It helps to develop a blueprint for what comes next. The person’s dreams, as well as less aspirational matters such as living and transportation arrangements, each deserve consideration. Financial preparation is a strong recommendation, especially considering how divorce drains savings. In the U.S., the average cost to dissolve a marriage is $15,000 per person. A monetary cushion should be ready before the divorce is final.
Divorcing a controlling person requires careful strategy and awareness. With the appropriate knowledge, splitting partners can proceed with resilience and determination.