What can you expect when divorcing a narcissist?

On Behalf of | Jul 28, 2023 | Divorce |

When married to someone with narcissistic personality traits, you may fear that there is no way out of the relationship to pursue a better life.

Most people find it difficult to leave their partners, despite the narcissistic abuse. Narcissistic abuse can occur in cycles and the abuser can make you feel as though you may be at fault for the conflict within the relationship. However, when you know it’s time for a divorce, you will want to prepare so that you leave the situation safely and with the assets you deserve.

Prepare for the reaction

Your first concern in divorcing a narcissist should be your safety. Create a safety plan, such as knowing where to go when leaving the relationship and what you need to bring. People with narcissistic traits will try to attack your self-esteem and make you feel like you are causing them pain. Consider why you must leave and discuss your options with family, friends or supportive professionals to ensure a safe exit.

Expect to need boundaries

Once you leave your partner, set boundaries. You may want to go no-contact, except through your legal representation—set parameters for any conversation you need to have. For example, you can limit your discussions to text only or only allow voice chat for 10 minutes. While you set boundaries for yourself, build a support system around you. Talk to friends and loved ones about your situation to avoid feeling isolated.

Often, if you have already faced isolation during your relationship, reaching out to explain what happened and what you are doing can help mend those bridges.