The divorce process is always complex and it becomes worse when you are dealing with child custody. Parent separation can have a traumatic effect on children and it is important that you can make the environment as low-conflict as possible.
One way that parents find may help children adjust to life after divorce is through birdnesting. What is birdnesting? NBC news describes birdnesting as leaving the family home intact, while both parents rotate between homes to live with their children. While one spouse is in the family home, the other is in a separate residence.
Is short-term nesting best?
Nesting should never be forever. If nesting drags on for too long, then your children may get false hope that you and your ex-spouse are going to get back together. Treat nesting as a traditional period that can soften the blow of divorce! It is normal for children to imagine that their parents will get back together. It is not healthy, however, if you encourage that fantasy by prolonging nesting. Nesting should last for about three months and no longer than six months.
How do you rotate homes?
Most families cannot afford to have three separate homes. You cannot expect that your ex-spouse will have a separate apartment from you, in addition to the family home. Even if you have money to afford both, it may not make any sense to have three separate living spaces. Instead, most couples will have one apartment in addition to the family home. When you are in the family home with your child, then your spouse is at the apartment and vice versa.
Birdnesting can be a viable if temporary solution for some families with children. It is ultimately up to you and your former spouse to make a final decision on what living arrangements benefit your circumstances.